How to be motivated when you can’t be *rsed

In my first year of teaching, knowing that it was going to be a bit of a brutal year, I signed up to a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) course. Debbie was the course instructor and we were to meet every Tuesday evening, 7-9pm and we would have home practices to do. Basically, we were expected to do meditations, body scans, keeping a journal, or other activities, for anywhere between 20-45mins every day. 

I have to admit, I was shocked at how much practice we were expected to do over the 8 week course, on top of the 2-hour weekly session, and I worried if I’d be able to fit it all in during my ECT year. What shocked me even more was when Debbie told the group at the end of the first session, “You don’t have to like it, you just have to do it.”  

Wait. What? Debbie repeated the mantra – “You don’t have to like it, you just have to do it.”

We were expected to do the practices no matter how busy we were, how crappy our days had been or whether we enjoyed the practices or not. I couldn’t believe my ears and even felt a bit resentful. I’d come on this mindfulness course to learn how to be kinder to myself and learn how to stop doing things I didn’t want to do. Now, I was being ‘forced’ to do things potentially against my will. But, I’d paid my money, I’d committed to do the course and I trusted that Debbie knew what she was talking about. It turns out that her instructions have had a bigger impact on my life than I could have imagined.  

The Motivation Myth

You see, most of us wrongly believe that motivation precedes action. Want to get fit? Sure, sign up to Couch To 5K and get running. Want to start eating more healthily? Fine, cut out the junk food and start eating more salads. Want to use your phone less? Easy, leave it in another room. Except, it never is that simple. When we are tired, stressed and low on energy, our motivation to do things that are good for us falls off a cliff. Worse than that, we often start engaging in activities that are actively harmful to us. Our phone usage goes up as we doom scroll! We stop exercising and stay on the sofa for longer. And the salads get ditched for crisps and chocolate. Before we know it, we’re even more exhausted, we feel even more stressed and our self-loathing has increased!  

And this is why Debbie’s advice has helped me so much. ‘You don’t have to like it, you just have to do it.’ On my MBSR course, I did my practices every single day. I did them when I felt like it. I did them when I didn’t. I did them when I was exhausted and hadn’t slept well. I did them when I’d had a terrible day in the classroom and wanted to give up teaching. And here’s what happened – I almost always felt better. Not every time but most of the time. And not dramatically better – just a little less stressed, a bit calmer or maybe I just had a small experience of my negative thoughts slowing down. And that’s where the motivation came from. I did it even when I didn’t feel like it, I felt better and so I was more likely to do it again the next day.  

Willpower and the Brain

There is a good scientific explanation for what is happening. Neuroscientist, Andrew Huberman, explains that when we do things that we don’t feel like doing, we specifically activate a region of the brain called the anterior mid-cingulate cortex (aMCC). It turns out that the aMCC is the centre of our willpower and tenacity and it is a highly neuroplastic part of the brain. Huberman says that forcing oneself to do something when we are least motivated to do it leads to long-standing increases in the size of this structure and its connectivity with related circuits in the brain that control willpower. Wow! 

So, what is the moral of the story?  

• Firstly, when you find yourself resisting doing something that you know will be good for you, keep Debbie’s words in your head – ‘You don’t have to like it, you just have to do it.’ It may be the kick up the backside you need to take action. 

• Secondly, know that when you do things that you don’t feel motivated to do, you are specifically growing parts of your brain that increase your willpower. It may feel hard now, but every time you overcome the resistance, it gets easier.  

• Finally, focus on the benefits of the action, rather than the resistance. Doing some yoga, going for that run, eating the healthier option, sitting down to meditate, reading a good book instead of doom-scrolling – whatever the nourishing activity is, you’ll almost always feel a bit less wretched and maybe even a bit happier for having done it. 

As we start back for another year in the classroom, as the dark mornings and evenings draw in, as the colder, wetter weather creeps upon us, we know our motivation to take good care of ourselves will start to wane. But this year will be different. You’re going to do the things you know are good for you, even when you don’t feel like it. And you don’t even have to like it, you just have to do it.